Moments Like These
by Jillian1
Summary: After the last we’ve seen of them in their Roswell hotel room, Mulder and Scully think about each other and their situation, and then wonder if they’re being thought of in return. Shippers only!


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DISCLAIMER: I don't own them, Chris Carter, 1013, and FOX own them. I'm not making money off of them, I'm just using them to finish where Chris left off.

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AUTHORS NOTES: I am devastated at losing TXF, lol, so I had to write something. This is what I would have had happen immediately after the finale.

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RATING: PG

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SUMMARY: After the last we've seen of them in their Roswell hotel room, Mulder and Scully think about each other and their situation, and then wonder if they're being thought of in return. Shippers only!

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MOMENTS LIKE THESE

By Jillian

*M*

It just feels so good to hold her again. She's sleeping now, god, she's beautiful when she's asleep. She's beautiful any moment of the day, the night, oblivion. Its so good to know that we love each other, after years of torment, of anguish and angst waiting for the moment when our own truths would be known. Fighting against all the sexual tension and the rumors about us around the Bureau, fighting to remain in a professional, platonic relationship. Two people in such deep love can only remain platonic for so long, we both knew it. We both knew we were in love. Our truths were found, no longer secret and buried deep within us. We were in love, we were lovers.

The X-Files brought us together and cost us so much. I never found Samantha alive, instead I found Scully. So, in essence, yes I found my truth. My love. I cost her so much, by bringing her with me on my long, often strange, journey. She lost her sister, her health, and even her ability to be a mother for some time, to the X-Files. And now, our son. What the lawyer in court called our "lovechild." Scully was infuriated, how dare they refer to William in such an often demeaning manner. I kind of thought it was funny. Yes we were lovers, but William was not an accident, not really a lovechild. And now... William is gone too.

Her face when she told me, it just, showed me how she had fallen apart without me to be their to help. She felt guilty, saying she didn't think I'd ever be able to forgive her, meanwhile I am the guilty one. I caused this. I left them, she had no idea where I had went for the year and a half I hid out with Gibson in the desert. I wasn't there to protect William, she couldn't do it on her own, nobody could handle such a task. Not even the strongest woman I know; Scully. I lead her into this. But I will get her out of it. We cannot turn back time, relive our lives. I know if we could, we'd do it all the same. Just for the moments like these, when she's in my arms. 

I wonder where we will go next. To find the truth, to stop this invasion. I couldn't tell her, I couldn't... Not because she's vulnerable or that I want to protect her from a scary possibility, one that is almost definite; because I thought--I think--I can change it. Not I. We. We can change the future. They said we were powerless, but people without power cannot escape death as often as Scully and I have. We've got to have some kind of power. I just feel bad, I know she doesn't want to live like this. I know she'll miss that family she envisioned, she'll miss her mom in DC, she'll miss normal life. We'll miss normal life, in our endless pursuit for the truth.

But in this pursuit, I promise her that normal life, someday, when our time has come. When we have found the truth. When we can know it is safe to have a normal life, a normal child, a normal family once again. It's what she's always wanted and I swear someday she'll have it. I'd give her it now if I could, but I can't. We both know that. We always have known it hasn't yet been our time. We tried it, without the truth, and it tore us apart. Me away from Scully, William away from all of us. An omen, maybe. To find the truth. We will find the truth that we've been seeking. She's right when she says it's WE who have been seeking it. She's been by my side all along, even though she was assigned to spy on me. I trust her. I love her. I kiss her forehead, while she sleeps in my arms.

So we give it all up for a while, until we can find the truth. But like I said, life is worth living for moments like these. I stare at her beautiful, peaceful face as I fall into a deep slumber, like I haven't slept in ages.

*S*

My eyes open slowly, it's still dark out. I'm in Mulder's arms. Oh God, the memories of the long week I've had slowly come back to me. It hasn't all been a dream. And I'm glad, because if it had been, I wouldn't be in Mulder's arms. As much as we've been through, I quite frankly believe life is worth living for moments like these. Moments when you rest in the arms of someone you love, moments that you feel peaceful and serene and you don't remember all your problems. Even when you remember them, you don't care. Because of the moment your in, with this person, right here, right now.

Mulder is asleep, and I just look at him. He's so handsome, even when his hazel eyes are hidden in slumber. We've all been through so much, and I say we've not only meaning Mulder and I, but everyone else we've dragged into the X-Files. Skinner, Reyes, Doggett, what will become of them? What will they tell my mother? That I'm dead? That's what the Consortium thinks, that they killed us with the missile that surely killed smoking man, once and for all. But not before he told me the truth.

I always thought Mulder would be the one to tell me. I was hurt when I found that he knew something and that he wouldn't tell it. I thought he saw me as too vulnerable for the truth. That I had worked so hard to be so emotionless for nothing, had earned the name Ice Queen for nothing. I was wrong, I see now. Mulder just thought he could change it. He was wrong, he cannot do it alone. **WE** can change it. WE WILL change it. 

Who would have thought it would end up this way? With me on the run from my job down at the FBI and Quantico because its been overrun by some breed of Super-Soldiers. With me and Mulder huddled together in a bed in Roswell, New Mexico. After years of waiting to be together, even waiting to admit we loved each other took a good six or seven years. And then he was taken. And then he had to go. He never stayed. Now he still isn't staying. Neither of us are staying. I'm so happy he can forgive me for William. That he wasn't even angry. I sigh and run my fingers through his hair.

The X-Files brought me to Fox Mulder. Who called me Scully until we became... Lovers. Eventually he called me Dana, but the X-Files brought me to the man who hates it when I call him Fox. So I call him Mulder. If I had never made these sacrifices, I would never know the joy in holding him. In laying here with him. The joy in moments like these. I know we can make it. We can change the horrible destiny that awaits the world because we have hope. And hope is all we need. 

And maybe one day we can settle down and have a real family. Not until we find the truth. You can't have a family and still search for the truth at the same time. I learned that lesson painfully through William. You have to pick one, the search for the truth or a normal life. Once you've completed the first, you may begin the latter. When an opportunity to chase the truth presents itself, you have to take it. This is why for us, for Mulder and I, the search for the truth comes first, the family second. 

At least we're "lovers" now, as named by the tribunal. Not to mention that we had produced a "lovechild", how ridiculous. William, I may not be sure exactly what brought him here, whether it be the chip altering my eggs or that simple, one lonely night I invited Mulder to my bed that that man knew about, William was no accident. I love him, no matter what he is and where he may be, I hope he knows that. I try and clear my head, looking at Mulder sleep, wondering what he's dreaming. Wondering if he ponders about my feelings the way I ponder about his. I feel him move beneath me. He opens his eyes. I'm still thinking about how much I love him. I'm wondering if he's thinking about me. If he loves me as much as I love him, which is more than anything else.

"Mm, Dana, I..." He says. I don't call him Fox. He hates it.

"What, Mulder?" I ask softly.

"I just want to let you know, I, I love you, Dana Scully, more than anything else on this earth, or off this earth, for that matter."

It's like he read my mind. I smile.

"I love you too, Mulder. I love you too." He kisses my lips, and I kiss him back.

Still embraced we continue our slow, passionate kiss. Our mouths open to each other and our tongues explore one another's mouths. He cradles me in his arms and moves his hands along my body, caressing me. I let out a sigh, still kissing him. We keep going, we enjoy a fabulous night, even after it all. Maybe it all is what made the night so fabulous. What made it so meaningful. We were showing each other that after it all, we would do it over and over again and make the same decisions. After all the pain, we found hope in each other.

Hours later I was resting my head on his bare chest. We were both awake. The sun had come up already, and under the blankets we tried to seek sanctuary from everything else but each other just for a few moments before we went searching. These are the moments. Moments like these make me happy that things turned out this way. I know he feels the same way.

*M*

That was one of the best nights in my life. Possibly the best, except maybe the night I held William right after he was born. And maybe the night he was conceived. This was definitely close. She lays her head on my chest. I run my fingers through her red hair, cherishing these moments. These are the moments. Moments like these make me happy that things turned out this way. I know she feels the same way.


End file.
